


Everything as before

by RiyelaAlelita



Category: Final Fantasy: Brave Exvius
Genre: M/M, Rain just doesn't know when to stop, Season 1 post Zoldaad, Stolen Kiss, Unrequited Love, also Nichol counseling Lasswell because why not?, and Lasswell keeps everything inside
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 00:20:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22146964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiyelaAlelita/pseuds/RiyelaAlelita
Summary: After solving the crisis in Zoldaad, Rain, Lasswell and their group decide to spend the night at an inn and get some deserved rest before continuing their journey. But the shadow of the previous argument emerges once again between the two knights of Grandshelt, greatly mining Lasswell's control.
Relationships: Lasswell/Rain (Final Fantasy: Brave Exvius)
Kudos: 12





	Everything as before

**Author's Note:**

> A quite old fanfic that I finally decided to translate.  
> Hope there aren't too many errors ^^"

-We have free rooms on the last floor.- said the innkeeper, consulting a register -It's 50 guil per night each.-

-Perfect.- replied Lasswell, already imagining with relief a night when he could finally rest how he deserved after the last battles. He paid and, received the keys of the three rooms, went back to his friends; he gave one to Fina and Lid, the second to Nichol. The young tactician was going to share the room with Jake, but the man was nowhere to be seen, although at the castle before he expressed the will to travel with them.

Lasswell asked if they saw him, but everyone shook their head.

-Surely he's somewhere flirting with some woman, that perv.- said Lid, grinning.

Yes, knowing him it wouldn't have come as a surprise if that was actually the case.

-Anyway, tomorrow morning we should depart early, so I think going to sleep now would be a wise decision.- said Nichol, leading the way upstairs.

As soon as he entered the room he was sharing with Lasswell, Rain threw himself on the mattress with a satisfied sigh, while the other knight started undressing.

-Finally a comfortable bed!- exclaimed the younger one -I'm so tired I could sleep here for days!-

Taking off his shirt, Lasswell nodded: -But I remind you we can't afford that. The Veritas are still out there, planning to destroy all Crystals. We can't stop here.-

-Yea, yea, I know...- replied Rain, huffing, and finally decided to undress -How I wish everything was already settled.-

Lasswell couldn't help but agree while, taken a cloth from his baggage, he started cleaning Purple Lightning as usual.

-Listen, Lasswell.- said suddenly the younger knight, attracting the companion's attention: he was staring him with a serious expression in his green eyes -There's something I wanted to ask you since quite some time.-

The other one grimaced: -It's not again about the sword, is it?-

Rain quickly denied, then added: -But it's about what you said the other day, when we had that...argument.- he paused for a moment, seemingly uncertain -Why don't you allow me to understand you? To understand what you think, what you feel...-

With a sigh, Lasswell's gaze dropped once again on his sword. He knew that, sooner or later, that topic was going to arise again between them, but he hoped it wouldn't have been so soon.

-It's not important...- he mumbled, even though he feared that those few words wouldn't be enough to evade the question.

As expected, Rain huffed: -There, you're doing it again!-

-What?-

-You're pushing me away! You do that too often when we talk about you. You keep everything inside, if you have a problem you don't talk about it, as if I'm not worthy of helping you. As if anyone of us isn't! And you nearly died for this!- his voice was getting louder the more he spoke -Have you an idea of how much I worried about you? And not just me, everyone! No one here wants to lose you!-

Lasswell wanted to reply, but he didn't know how, he couldn't find the words.

Anyways, Rain didn't leave him enough time to do that, stepping near him and looking at him from above: -And don't even think about saying again that it's not important, because to me it is! We grew up together, you're a brother to me. We always supported and helped each other, why can't it be that way anymore?-

How could he tell him? How could he explain what he really felt, if he himself understood it so little time before and still wasn't able to completely accept it? How could he tell that, to him, he wasn't like a brother, but something different? And, if he confessed it, how would Rain react? How would their relationship change after that? He obviously couldn't force him to reciprocate his feelings, neither he wanted to; all he desired was to stand by his side, that everything stayed as it was before.

-...it's one of those things that's difficult to explain by words...- he said in a soft voice, standing up and walking towards the door: his heart was beating like crazy, he wasn't sure it could endure more of their conversation. Even just thinking about it was enough to stir up all of his feelings.

Rain grabbed him by an arm: -Then make me understand without words! There has to be a way, right?-

“Why you keep insisting like this?”

-How much do you want to hide from me?- Rain pressed on, stubborn -Firstly all of the things the old man only told you, then that he left you his sword. Is there more? From what do you still want to protect me? I already told you I don't want you to do that!-

For the second time from the start of their conversation, Lasswell didn't know what to say: he felt trapped in that situation, he didn't want that new argument to divide them again, but still he couldn't express what he felt.

Or, he didn't want. There was something inside him that urged him to tell him everything, to take the other boy in his arms and keep him by himself, never letting him go. He always kept that urge in check, but it was more and more difficult every moment that passed.

-Please, tell me...-

And then Lasswell acted, maybe because he was exasperated, or maybe it was his desire that won over his control.

He turned to face Rain and, grabbing him by the nape, he leaned on him; he saw the other's eyes widen just before closing his own, and then kissed him. It was something really simple, just pressing his lips on Rain's, but that was enough to make his heart beat even faster. Maybe because, after all, that was his first kiss.

He didn't know how long they stayed like that, probably few seconds, but when the older one finally stepped back he was out of breath, the heart nearly exploding.

Rain was still watching him with his eyes open wide, shocked.

-Ehi! Is everything alright in there?- asked someone from the other side of the door. It was Lid, but she wasn't alone: too many voices sounded in the corridor beside the girl's.

Hearing her, Lasswell seemed to awake and realized with horror what he just did. He ran away, out of the room, out of the inn, not caring about the friends asking what happened, the people and the fact that he was only wearing his trousers. He needed to get away, stay alone for some time and clear his mind.

That night, the streets of Zoldaad were empty, surely because of the heavy rain that kept falling until shortly before, and Lasswell was gladly savoring that peace: it allowed him to reflect on what just happened without unnecessary interruptions.

He sat down at the border of a little square near the castle entrance; the street lamp on which he leaned on was cold and gave him chills, but it wasn't uncomfortable. What tormented him the most, right that moment, was everything that was stirring inside of him: he felt guilty about what he did, he shouldn't have kissed Rain and didn't know what to do anymore. He feared how Rain could react: would he still talk to him or, instead, push him away forever?

If that was some time before he would have been sure that, despite everything, all could be set right before long; but the argument born by Sir Raegen's sword showed a side of Rain that was rarely seen and that he nearly forgot.

Maybe it was for the best if he went away, far from him, before hurting him again.

Suddenly, steps resounded in the deserted roads, pulling him out of that whirlwind of thoughts; he raised his gaze just in time to see a figure clad in white, with blue hair ruffled by the night breeze, appear from behind a corner.

-Nichol...- Lasswell greeted him, focusing again on the stone-paved floor.

-I've been looking for you for quite some time, you know?- said the Warden on the Waters -What happened between you and Rain, this time? I thought the two of you already had things sorted out.-

-We truly had...- mumbled the knight, unsure. Even if he kept his gaze low, he clearly felt the piercing eyes of the young tactician on himself, as if he was being attentively examined and all his thoughts were exposed.

-Then what were you discussing about? And don't try to convince me that that was just a friendly talk, because all of the inn heard Rain shout.-

Lasswell wondered if it was a good idea to talk to Nichol about what happened in that room. Out of their group members, he seemed to be the more mature one, with whom he could talk seriously: Fina was far too innocent and maybe could misunderstand the problem, Lid could take it too lightly, while Jake...well, he was Jake. He wasn't sure a good advice could come from him, in that situation.

Yes, Nichol was the best person to talk to.

-It's that...- he started after a deep breath -Rain told that I keep everything I think inside and push him away whenever he asks me to talk about it...-

-He's right on that.- the tactician agreed, making Lasswell rise his eyes again -And you do that not only to him, but to everyone. You're the opposite of Rain, it's so rare to see you express what you feel that, when you do, we worry.- he grimaced -But it's not like I'm the best one to talk about expressing emotions.-

Hearing this statement, the knight smiled, then continued: -He kept on insisting that I told him what I felt, and then I...-

Words got stuck right before he could pronounce them, and he felt like he couldn't even breath when he thought back at what he did, at Rain's look back then...

-You...?- asked Nichol, his voice calm and patient.

Lasswell strove to end the sentence and, in the end, he managed to say under his breath: -...I kissed him.-

Nichol's expression didn't change, he just closed his greenish blue eyes and nodded lightly; finally, after a long silence, he looked at him again and spoke: -And you obviously never said him a thing, seeing how you reacted.-

The knight sighed: -It's not been so long since I understood it, only after we started this journey to stop the Veritas. And I was afraid of telling him. Even now I fear how he could react and that he could distance himself from me, and I don't want that.-

“Tho, the way I made him understand it is even worse than words...”

-So you kept everything to yourself, as usual.- summed up the tactician -You know, in times like this I really wonder if you two actually grew up together.-

Confused, Lasswell stared at him.

-From what I could see of Rain, he doesn't seem like the type of person to distance himself from others like that, especially you.- he continued -I understand that he greatly resents his father, even though I don't know everything that happened between them. Your discussion over your sword was mainly caused by that, and just partly by you not telling him anything. So, I think it's very unlikely that he would distance himself from you.-

That boy was really amazing: he could catch even the most little details of a situation and his mind was always clear enough to analyze them the best way possible.

Lasswell opened his mouth to say something, but a quick series of steps distracted him, making him watch towards the street. This time, the one to step into view was Rain himself, panting with his shirt half buttoned up.

Nichol seemed to smile while he turned: -Then, I leave the two of you alone. I believe you have something important to discuss.-

The two knights of Grandshelt looked straight at each other, silent, the older one without an idea on how to begin, the other one still hesitating even when his breath had already calmed down.

What should Lasswell say that moment? Should he apologize? Justify himself? Run away?

No, not that! That would just make things worse.

He stood up: -Rain, I...-

-Listen, Lasswell...- began Rain at the same time, but he didn't interrupt -I'm sorry that I insisted that much. Maybe I shouldn't have done that, but I wanted to understand. You always keep everything to yourself, there's no way to know what's on your mind. I wanted you to talk to me, that's way I kept asking. You never closed yourself up that much, I was really worried and I wanted things to go back as they were. I couldn't even imagine that this was what hurt you so much... But you should have told me!-

Really, that boy never changed: he wasn't afraid of talking his mind, staring at the other with his clear eyes. Maybe that too was one of the reasons why he loved him.

-I...- started Lasswell, unsure like few times in his life in front of that resolved gaze -I was afraid, Rain. I feared how you could have reacted, that you wouldn't accept it, that you would push me away. That things could change, and I don't want that. All I want is that everything remains the same as before, even if now, maybe, it's impossible.-

-Are you listening to what you're saying?- replied the youngest knight -You really believe that I wouldn't talk to you anymore just because of this? Yes, it's crazy to think that my best friend, with whom I grew up together, loves me, but this is not a good reason not to talk anymore. Hadn't you been there, I surely wouldn't be here. Maybe I wouldn't even be a knight.- he bowed his head -I don't want you to go away. I don't now if I'll ever reciprocate your feelings, but neither I want things to change.-

When Rain finished speaking, Lasswell was at a loss of words for a long time.

-I was really stupid.- let out in the end, smiling -I should have known it would have ended like this. Even Nichol understood it, but not me that knows you since we were children.-

-We're humans, right? We can fail.- Rain extends a hand -The good thing is that, in this case, we can make up.-

Yes, they could make up. Lasswell grabbed his hand, then pulled him in his embrace. He felt Rain startle, but an instant later he hugged him back. Letting the boy's warmth pervade him, Lasswell buried his face in his loved one's hair. He finally felt inside of him a peace that he yearned for a long time, but that he feared he could never reach.

Then, they walked together back to the inn, Rain talking with his usual enthusiasm even if it was so late in the night: -So there really wasn't anything between you and Charlotte? 'Cause both I and Lid believed you really had a thing for her.-

-She's a friend and a good knight, even though sometimes she lets her duties have the best of her.- replied Lasswell -There's nothing more between us.-

The blond one laughed: -If you told that before tonight, I would not have believed it, you know? I mean, you two are so similar, why choose me?-

-It's not that I intended to choose you...- Lasswell mumbled -It happened...-

They walked silently for a a short time before Rain spoke again: -I was thinking...if Jake was here in my place, he would say something like “I know, I too would fall in love with me”.-

That imitation finally made Lasswell chuckle, easing his mood and making his heart a little more light. But it took just another sentence from Rain to fluster him again.

-Anyways, you really call that a kiss? You should learn how to do that.-

-What?!-

He went on without a care: -I could teach you. I think I could do better than that.-

The other one didn't answer, but he blushed so violently that it wasn't necessary, making Rain laugh again.

When they came back to the inn, they found their friends outside the building, waiting for them to explain what happened.

Lasswell sighed, joining them together with Rain, and thought that his long awaited rest would have had to wait even longer.

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I wrote more than two years ago in Italian, but I finally decided to translate it only now.  
> At the end of Zoldaad's arc I felt a little disappointed that nothing actually happened between Lasswell and Rain, so I guess this was my way to cope and answer my question "could something happen outside the cutscenes between them?"  
> Also, my impression of Jake wasn't really good back then XD  
> Hope you liked this super late fanfic on season 1 ^^


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